Farewel

Goodbye to CArMUN!!!!! MISS U FOREVAAAAAAAAA!!! ok that sounds kinda wrong.... but still...I MISS UUU!!! take care in aus. dun get bullied by kangaroos xD and drive an audi and take a picture pls xD

Being Single

Its 2012. This will be my first post of the year. Kinda expecting a disappointing year ahead when the first post on the blog is an emotional one.

I have up to 1 month o prepare before my Mock exam, which is of utmost importance for my course. (We don't have any test, just a mock exam and then finally the Finals) Having been tensed these past few days, I nevertheless celebrated one of my best Christmas and New year ever. Well maybe not that fantastic of a new year, but still, a fairly happy one.

Having known already that I have tons of assignments awaiting for me, and , much catching up to the syllabus to do, I slacked during this 2 weeks break, bad move, now I'm tensed shit.

Then I start to think, there are nobody that I can tell how depressed I am. Though today is the first day of 2012, I am already this sad. I always wonder to myself, why am I so unfortunate. Many things that I don't have, and all I ever wished for were simply small maters, yet it can never be fulfilled. Something that my peers all have, I will never have. And altogether, all these things are bottled up in me, having no one to share with.

True, you might say friends do share your pain and joy, but only to a certain extent. We each have our individual's life to live. I can't expect my friends to be perfect. No one is. But having to bottle up all these feelings are having its toll on me. Life just doesn't seemed as colourful as it should be. Worst of all, without a girlfriend, I have no one to cry to when things gets too harsh.

So, all I can do is to tell myself, that, be strong, life has ups and downs. I can't be taking advantage of life when everything's is favourable and say life sucks when a mere challenge stood infront of me. I always thought to myself, the way I look now is disgraceful to my friends who worked hard to achieve what they have achieved today. WHy they can do it, but not me? But if I were to have a gf, life would change a whole lot for me.Haiz...

Of Sunflowers and Roses

The beauty of rose mesmerizes men,
The vividness of the petals glimmers in the eye,
The longer you stare the more it tears,
Through your heart of love with it's thorns of dread;
Never did Adam knows,
That roses pierces his flesh,
And make him bleed,
As I had known how cold you can be,
If ever the sunflower is to enshrined aside the rose,
Will the latter out-glare her companion?
Centuries passed; I now look upon,
You stand out the most,
Amongst the roses that twined and thorned below thou feet,
A shine that heaven itself could not compete,
And I regret for ever that I did not choose thee.

Finally

Finally my registration with University of London is confirmed. Phew, for a second I thought my 804pounds went missing. Lets hope my study materials will not be late this time. Studying for an international programme is so troublesome sometimes. And we only have 9 months to finish a course that's suppose to be 1 year. Zzz... But nevermind. I tell myself nothing is impossible.

Though I repeat this statement to myself each time I thought of you, it tells me that sometimes something ARE impossible. Maybe its time for me to let go of you for good. I'm sorry if I've been a drag to your life. And sorry for not even contributing a single bit to your happiness, on the contrary I might have caused you some perils.

I should try to have some vacation off, travel the world. I should explore, and see for myself how big this world actually is. I need to gain experience, meet new people, have new goals. Time for a life overhaul. For once I will take out my dusty guitar ad leanr a few notes . Haha.

But, everytime I saw a guy gets a hell of a good girlfriend but doesn't appreciate her, it hurts. I'm jealous. To me, every girl's teardrop is a waterfall. But, mayb I'm just beeing too demanding xD

Baby Sitter's Daughter's daughter's 1 Year Old birthday

WHew just came back from my baby sitter's grandaughter's one year old birthday hehe...cool huh =)

Which of you still keep in touch with your baby sitter? ;) haha see I'm such a good kid to take care off. According to my babysitter I seldom cry, and just sit at the springing-hanged-bed-like-thingi until my mum come and fetch me. Aww I bet I am freaking adorable!!! Hahhaa

Its kinda nostalgic that seeing her daughter at that time was only in secondary and used to play with me, now she's married and got children, while I am already in law school, life does goes on fast yeah...IN fact I'm already 19!!! WTF I havent even went to a club before!!!! I might end up exceeding the age limit for clubbing in the near future, who knows, they set these regulations to prevent old farts from barging in...lol..

I wonder what's my kindergarten friends are doing? I cant even remember their names anymore ... but I remember I was kinda popular in my kindergarten man...I'm way cooler than now, that time i dun have coconut hair like children nowadays, and most of all IMMA THIN!!! muahahahhahahahahha eat that you fat people that hope i was forever had been in the same league as you xD

Owh yeah Since i'm seriously ill i should get to bed. Thanks to continous class on friday morning and badminton and movie and dinner on friday...now i have to skip class on monday ...haiz

Nights people :)

Too little too late

Heh so i have been put in the dark about your love life huh... well..stupid me would thought everything is foreseeable, now it seemed not then. Never would have wondered that through the way you treated me these couple of days, or more precisely the words you used against me, you would already had a new bf. Haha if you're reading this its ok I am in no position to be mad or feel anything stupid haha. Congratulations!!! I hope you will be happy with him forever and after, and I hope I could stay away from you more often, because each time i got close to you i start to lose myself. I think I would have been a nuisance to you too sometimes right? xD

I dont think i desere you anywya. Although I tell the whole world I love you, have I really showed it to YOU yourself? no? yeah figured so... maybe I don't love you from the beginning? well wadever it is I still had this tiny weeny feeling for u... but your hand could never be mine to hold. Honestly, i really missed you. But anyway, whats the point of blabering here?

Each time i tell myself that i know without determination and honesty, I cannot succeed, but each time i repeat the same mistake, making myself a fool. I feel like slapping myself, it would be better if you could slap me too xD

Anyway u gotten prettier...in fact veryone gotten prettier lol...carmun,....lai theng....haha...awesome friends that I will never forget. Never seen jes for a while though...hope you are well...i will always be by ur side whenever u need me...

Law is tough as ever.. Just couldn' stay awake in class anymore like the a level times, barely had enough knowledge in my head to do a single assigment. Seriously if you know anyone that wanted to read law, ask them to reconsider carefully and BE PREPARED!! Its just too intimidating ... that law...

Stpm is drawing near too...ALL THE BEST EVERYONE!!! 4 flat yea!! xD

ANd since its already saturday, its time to look forward to next friday's morning badminton session...and maybe even dinner...hehe...i hope jing can come too...exam over dy i guess? probably you'll be busy anyway lol

And last, my stupid indian neighbour abducted all the puppies into a PLASTIC BAG and threw it into a dustbin somewhere...blardy bastards...just because they wana stay in the back lane and chiong with the dogs.... when i become rich one day i swear I will catch these people...and i will open alot alot of charity homes for animals, i wont put them to sleep...might just as well take care of all of them...they are lives too....we have no difference!

STOP ANIMAL CRUELTY!!!

and to chan, stay calm, and you'll see the road ahead of you crystal clear =)

Nights everyone.

Nights YOU.

Take care people.

I love you <3

Time Lapse

Asshole Google force people to make an account to use blogger, another stupid password to remember. Firstly I would like to appologise to those people who have been following my posts, people such as chan, chan, and chan, as I've mentioned earlier the stupid google account thingi prevented me from updating my blog lazily. Ok maybe only one fella is reading my posts, but anyway, I will write as in the format to the general public. Lets pretend I have loads of fans k?!?

So, how's everybody? I sure hope you all are in good health and wealth, and of course still remember me. Heh i'm fond of feeling remembered xD

Well, an update to my life, I've done my A-level AS and A2 exams, just need to laze through the period between now and collecting the results. No doubt my results will be bad, let alone passing all 3 subjects. As usual, I didn't study xP Thus, the chances of me making it to be a bigshot lawyer in the future is very slim, though I had to admit I'm very good at bullshitting , so, there's a chance.

So....wad else do you wanna know? Haha, love is not available for now. Or even forever. I admit here that I've for the numerous times voiced out my feelings to her. But of course she will not likely to ever be with me. Chan said it, very unlikely. Haha, who cares, I love her and thats it.

Its not only she is pretty, but she posess a very innocent childlike nature within her, easily influenced, but not naive either. Its cute to look at her, the way she usually craves for a certain type of desserts, and her madness for shopping spree. She has a good taste in buying stuff too, especially music, JAY CHOU!!!

Naw, of course its not just that. She is the girl I can ever dreamed off. Beautiful, kind hearted, cheerful, sporting and out-going, and makes me smile whenever she just looks at me. There's one thing I am particularly fond of her, she had been using this particularly lip balm, strawberry flavour, draws my attention. It smells blissful, fresh and relaxing.

Lol! now you all will be calling me a stalker! I'm not ok!!! Well, maybe to a certain extent, but I have my principles in stalking. I never abruptly shows up at people's place ok! and I don't force people to accept my presence. Its because a person once told me that, it does not matter she accept you or not. As long as you love her, it is justified, as your feelings to her does not include an expectation of her returning the feelings. Hence, I wish to say here that, my wish is to always keep her happy. But i have to admit i do not often meet her, but I always pray for her happiness, and her smile brings a certain amount of warmth to the people around her. I will always look out for you, if you are reading this, so as to make sure I can be by your side whenever you are unhappy, down, or felt you needed a company. I may not be much, but I often make people laugh, I hope i can at least do that for you, and I don't hope you to do anythign in return, just smile =)

OK it seemed that this post is all pertaining her, but people, I will be updating again soon. Ciouz for now xD

Protect

After watching another episode of Kekkeishi, something hit me hard. I felt like I just awoke from a long dozy dream. Just like any other Japanese Anime or Mangas, they really get a guy's testosterone going. Its same with almost every series. If by now you didn't catch the juice of the theme, then you are not very observant all the while are you?

In every series, the main character is always started small and powerless. The community around them is harsh, does not matter in any way, and they need to stay strong to survive.

Same goes in life. I have many important things in my life. Up till now, I did not realize they exist. Well, maybe sometimes I realised they exist, put a little effort in preserving their entire existence. Never gave enough of it though. Most of them, are, frankly speaking, harvested in my younger days. Now I know I'm not that old to talk about younger days, but, it made point. I've been lazy and worthless in the recent years. I've never put my complete effort into anything. Not creating anything worth protecting. What I don't realise was, I already had precious things that I was suppose to be protecting from.

My education, kinda represents my strength. You know why? Because in this community power is everything. The rich, the fame, the controls, the influence all derives from power. And, it is also this power that protects anything that's important to any person. That is why successful people are always powerful and they are, well, most of the time contended. In my life, I realised that, power comes to me in the form of knowledge, in other words my academics. It is with these knowledge then do people recognize us. Most people around us talks about friendship, loyalty, relationships, all sound absurd to me now. It is the power to protect what they desire that drives them to say these words.

Whats important to me is my friends, my love life. My fame, my fortune, it is these that I desire the most. I never did much to protect my friends, they usually protect me in return. I only relied on them when I am in trouble. Never lend a helping hand to them when they're in need. I never really pursue my loved one. I never had the guts to tell her I love her, show her I love her, and prove to her that I love her. All I ever did was talk! Like now. And my career, needless to mention, I am in a terrible condition now.

I need to become stronger I told myself. So, study is important after all. And I hope that I am not lying to myself this time. There's little that one can achieve with limited knowledge. You can't even protect the ones that you loved. I despise myself for that. And now that its too late to go back, I can only work hard to stop everything I had leaving me.

It is the power to protects, that forces people to change, and, surpass themselves and do the impossible. Thats what makes thing possible.

I Bore It

The house seemed unbearably dull. There is no escape from loneliness. Wife, child, brothers, parents, friends... We come together only to go apart again. It is one of continuous movement. They move away from us as we move away from them. The law of life can't be avoided. The law comes into operation the moment we detach ourselves from our mother's womb. All struggle and misery in life is due to our attempt to arrest this law or get away from it or in allowing ourselves to be hurt by it. The fact must be recognized. A profound unmitigated loneliness is the only truth of life. All else is false. They scatter apart like the droplets of water-spray. The law of life, no sense in battling against it.

In a blink of an eye

Yep, as the title said, in a blink of an eye, my 18-een had gone by, without me even realising it. I didn't even had the fun it as it had supposed to had promised! Didn't get drunk, didn't get wasted, still a virgin, and still single FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!! Damn this is pathetic, what would I tell my children in the future about how grand my teen-age was! (That is if I had children!!) Man seriously if I stop and think about it, I'd never done any beneficial stuff the whole 2010 thingi. Look at me, I'm only graduating my pre u in june! My friends are starting their course in JUNE. I so hope that 2012 is true and everybody dies together with me. No point u all going so fast for ur education! HAHA IN UR BLARDY FACE!

Fuck man I really need to work harder in everything i do in life! My diet plan doesn't last for even one month more, bought a guitar but ended up leaving it at a side, worst of all i failed to confess my love still. (But guarantee confess dy the girl sure freaked out and masuk ICU wan).

Even my friends are leaving me one by one. Not to mention the already lost sally and carmun the other sunway ppl, but also the sentosa ppl.. it looked more like they are in sentosa singapore rather than sentosa kuchiao lama because we RARELY meet!.

Yeah well who ask me to stay in serdang, some god forsaken place! Bloody food here ain't really as good as it used to be before i shifted here. Nothing taste the same as high school life. Nowonder they call it honeymoon year.. xD

And who knows I'll end up as a ART student instead of a science sream student! Wierd, never imagined i would be in this stream, not to mention how pro am i in physics last time. HMPH!

Ahhhhh fuck lar if cannot fix my life by twenty then better 2012 lar! PRAY FOR IT TO HAPEN..

And I hope you like the gift ~

The music player is to be listened to.

Please listen to my playlist next to this post. I think that the new Secondhand Serenade "You & I" is awesome. Felt like high school, puppy love, misbehaviours, and carefree. All the feelings which have now gone.

The next song should be by Richie Ren, to all my dearest pals =) Listen to it.

Cheers,

And a happy new year to all of you. Lets hope that 2011 is a better year for everyone, and also the worst year in years to come.

I wished you were there that night to watch the fireworks by my side,

and let me hug and lean my head on you as we sat under the brightly lit sky

Holy God I can't believe I am staying at home alone for new year! Why are there no activities?!?!?!